10dp3dt - not looking good...
I woke up early feeling very nauseous and crampy this morning and felt compelled to HPT. And just as almost every bone in my body expected, BFN. I'm strangely not upset at all. Didn't even shed a tear. I just immediately went into planning out next steps - AKA "plan B".
I think I'll do another FET (natural?) down here while waiting to get consults with some other docs. And I'll get the steroids (finally) and also do the Intralipids in Chicago for fun for that.
I do have some weird sense of focus and clarity - which is odd for me so early in the morning. But I feel like I can focus on some other life priorities today and not be so distracted by Friday's beta (which was ALL I could think about yesterday). And by some miracle I still could end up with a different beta results (possible late implanters from FET)....but that is just sooooo f'in unlikely.
I still think I might puke though -- maybe it was the frozen spanikopita I ate last night? Yuck!
And I think I am developing a dog foot fetish...Maggie must think I'm a freak for photographing her paws so much. :)
I think I'll do another FET (natural?) down here while waiting to get consults with some other docs. And I'll get the steroids (finally) and also do the Intralipids in Chicago for fun for that.
I do have some weird sense of focus and clarity - which is odd for me so early in the morning. But I feel like I can focus on some other life priorities today and not be so distracted by Friday's beta (which was ALL I could think about yesterday). And by some miracle I still could end up with a different beta results (possible late implanters from FET)....but that is just sooooo f'in unlikely.
I still think I might puke though -- maybe it was the frozen spanikopita I ate last night? Yuck!
And I think I am developing a dog foot fetish...Maggie must think I'm a freak for photographing her paws so much. :)
3 comments:
Yuck about the BFN. Stupid evil pee sticks.
Sometimes I think the not knowing can be too much - for me, anyway, I'd rather know definitively BFN than keep wondering about every cramp and twinge. So I can relate to the focus after seeing the BFN.
However - I am going to continue to hope for you, with everything I've got - that this was a false negative. Because I don't want to let go of the hope for you yet. :)
Hugs to you today, girl!
Dog prints make me smile - and I love to massage my dog's paws too... so it's not just you. They are just so darn cute.
I'm sorry about the neg. on the HPT, but I will hold out hope that it's wrong until Friday. I'm glad you have clarity and focus, though, so you are prepared for whatever comes on Friday.
I am so sorry that things are not looking good :( I hope that your wrong but your gut reaction is the same as mine - plan and plan and plan some more. IFers just have to plan and plow through --
Keep us updated on all of your plans.
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