7dp3dt - still here
I'm still feeling pretty numb about this whole experience. Went in today for my first luteal bloodwork. I went to a national lab place to get it done. MUCH cheaper than the overpriced RE that I used for the early monitoring visits. But I find this place to be very uncomfortable. Especially when I have to wait in a crowded waiting room for an hour next to a smelly old man. Yuck.
Anyway if I had more energy about all of this I would be on the phone checking to see if the lab actually sent the results up to NYC. I'd give it a 50/50 chance that it happens today. But I don't have the energy so I'll just hope that they get it.
I'm thinking about POAS on Wednesday or Thursday. But this time around I'm way more scared about a BFN so we'll see. Do I really need to find out if it works?
In the mean time I'm going to try to do some Christmas shopping and come up with a "plan B" - which is like a mental cushion for me. Something to land on in case it doesn't work out so I don't crumble to pieces as I hit the floor.
Anyway, I'm really not feeling negative about the cycle. And then again I'm not feeling positive. Just there. Moments of hope & despair, but mostly it's just a lot of nothing. And I'm not complaining about that!
7 comments:
If you went to the same national lab I visited recently (in Ballston, on the ground floor of an office building), I can second the total "yuck." I know that I'm a huge snob, but I was incredibly uncomfortable amongst the unwashed (literally) masses. I hope I never, ever have to go back there again.
Hmm, my Re does not do any bloodwork during the luteal phase after IVF. Beta only. What does the info tell them? I'm curious.
I am right there with you on being somewhat numb with all of this. I also think that it's worse since Christmas is right around the corner and here we are preparing for either elation or horrible disappointment. It's a lot to deal with. hang in there, you're getting closer every day.
Hey Spark
Thanks for your kind words. There is nothing more annoying than people telling you to 'cheer up' especiallly when all you want to do is chin somebody.
So I hope you have a giggle about this....
Yesterday A was increasingly agitated and a remote control was launched from the other side of the room and scored a direct hit on my chest.
In 11 years she has barely raised her voice let alone give me a clout.
I could not stop laughing (mainly because she actually hit the target) because it made her feel much better.
Well I am here to help after all however everything weighing more than 5 pounds in the house has been nailed down.
x
Oh ICK - I have gotten SO freaking spoiled with my RE, I can't imagine dealing with the masses either. :)
*HUG* I think having the next plan is a good one. But I am very much hoping that you won't need it.
IVF 2ww's are one of the most tortuous things on earth. It is an awful time that you wish you could just be put under for. I will say I have to have a Plan B. It helps so much knowing you're not staring at the end. I hope, though, you're staring at 2 lines on Wed or Thurs.
hang in there. 2WW ugh. try to stay distracted. hoping for a + for you and will be reading and crossing fingers. hugs.
This is the business end of the cycle, alright. Hang in there?
Bea
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