Tuesday, December 19, 2006

22dp3dt - preparing for 1st u/s

I've had a lot of the same feelings as Lola on being on "the other side" of infertility. Disbelief. Guilt.

The good news is that I did stop POAS a few days ago - it started to seem excessive - even to me. I'm sure you'll be glad to not see any more HPTs on here. :)

But on the other hand the next month or two still seem so tentative - there is so much going on right now with the embryo (or should be) that makes this whole experience even more than a miracle that it has been so far. Given that there are so many things that can go wrong I'm trying to keep expectations low. And like Lola, taking things one day at a time.

I'm even going to make a mental cushion just to prepare myself for tomorrow's ultrasound (5w5d - to look for a sac & confirm no ectopic). If for whatever reason things don't work out, I am still be thrilled that we got this far. We have finally seen that elusive second line ("we seek him here - we seek him there - that damn elusive...second line"). It has given so much more hope to future cycles.

So my plan B looks a lot like the one that I did before POAS. I'd probably want to be more aggressive about cycling again - probably FET in NYC - soon to reap the benefits of recently removed endo.

I wonder what it is like for fertile people after a BFP - is it pure joy?

14 comments:

Motel Manager said...

From my empirical observation, I do think fertile people tend to experience more pure joy - they have less of a tendency to think that the rug will be pulled out from under them at any moment, and so they are more likely to start telling everyone they are pregnant about 10 minutes after they POAS. :)

I'm wishing you good luck on your ultrasound tomorrow!!!

the waiting line said...

Good luck on your ultrasound! (I am sitting on pins and needles as well - ultrasound is Thursday, Dec 28th - so far away!)

serenity said...

Good luck sweetie - I will be hoping for GREAT news for you!

Ignorance is bliss, so I'm assuming that a fertile person feels just pure joy from a BFP. But that might be a wrong assumption... :)

lola said...

I have fingers and toes crossed for your ultrasound! My ultrasound will also be at 5wks 5days, this Friday. So yet again I'm following closely at your heels :)

And because pretty much every friend I have is pregnant or recently had a baby, I can tell you that YES they absolutely experience the pure joy of being newly pregnant and that almost none of them ever thought that anything bad could happen. Fair, huh?

Hopeful Mother said...

I agree with the others - most fertiles are just plain happy with a BFP. No analysis of 20 million pee-sticks, no obsessing about beta numbers and doubling, and all those other wonderful things that IF pg do...

I will be hoping all the best for your u/s tomorrow!

KelleyO said...

Wishing the best for your u/s tomorrow!

Re. your question about fertile people...I agree that most probably don't analyze, analyze, analyze...and aren't as likely to not believe that it has finally happened!

Congrats again!

Mr Blue Sky said...

Hey Spark, Wishing you all the bast tomorrow and you'll be in my thoughts.

M said...

Tried to post to you last night...but it wouldn't show me the word verification. Now I can't remember what I wanted to say...but I know it was great. Hahaha!
Good luck with the u/s. I do think fertiles enjoy their BFPs more so. Most of them don't know about beta numbers, how many DPO they are, what they should see on an u/s....so sometimes I think us infertiles know too much.

Tulips said...

The fertiles definitely don't appreciate that BFP as much!

Thinking of you today!!!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you are feeling now. Especially the guilt. To be so happy to finally have a BFP, but scared something is going to go wrong, and guilt that you still have friends struggling. All normal for people who have gone through this! Good Luck today!!

-N

lola said...

waiting on pins and needles for your u/s results!!

MzMannerz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MzMannerz said...

Everything's crossed for you!

Anonymous said...

Wishing you every possible bit of good luck!