11dp3dt - not real

This just doesn't seem real - at all. My result lines are still very faint - even as of this morning which is my theoretical "first day of expected period". Maybe this was just a test to see if something could implant - and it did. That alone is very reassuring - I was starting to wonder if my ute was a pit of despair that no embryo could survive for more than a few hours. But at least one has survived for this long - which alone seems like great progress.

I am still in shock about the whole thing and don't really know how to react. I thought that if I ever saw another line I'd be jumping up & down with happiness. But I just don't know how to feel or react. I'm not quite happy. I feel like a fraud - like someone is going to realize that it's all just a big joke and turn me in. I guess I've turned into a pro at IVF/IF and I'm really really good at that. I have no clue where to begin if this is happening. I've been avoiding most things related to this for a long time.

Anyway the sketchy, scary lab down here "forgot" to process in my 2nd luteal bloodwork on Wednesday - nice. It just sat in a bin until yesterday when they realized they never sent it over to the lab. Guess that STAT means forget about it. So we'll see if & when the nurses up in NYC get the bloodwork today. I'll try to stay on top of it, but I'm guessing it won't be very early even if everyone does their job.

In the hope that this is real I made an appt with my endocrinologist for next week to check my TSH and also ordered more PIO/needles/syringes - which I could use for a future cycle if I end up not needing it now.