Wednesday, August 30, 2006

it's hard to stay optimistic...

...for this cycle. All day my body has been feeling weird (crampy, ovulation-like pangs, tired, grumpy) so I'm thinking that everything is all screwed up in there.

We had a big celebration at work today for my project that is wrapping up. And I just couldn't stand to be there and pretend to be happy. So I just walked out.

I just thought of everything that I did to make that project successful. How much I gave of myself. And now it's over and I'm left with a screwed up FET cycle. What if I just declined the offer to lead the project? If I didn't go through all of that stress would I still be on track for a transfer next week? So I guess I'm bitter about the things that are going well now. Because the one thing that I really care about and comes so easy to so many others - I have no control over.

:(

4 comments:

MrGali said...

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything better. I'm sorry you're down... :(

Southern Comfortable said...

Oh, honey. I hope you feel better soon.

-M said...

The what ifs are the worst. If I'd done this differently, or that would I be pregnant now? It sucks, it just all sucks. I hate the end of projects too, I get such an empty feeling. I hope you feel better soon.

serenity said...

*HUG*